It's Enough to Make a Girl Start

According to the Indianapolis Star, a number of state entities--including INShape Indiana, the Indiana State Department of Health, and Indiana Tobacco Prevention and Cessation--have created a contest as part of a statewide smoking cessation program. The contest, entitled "Quit 2 Win," enables smokers to qualify to WIN CASH for staying smoke-free for ONE MONTH. Because no one resumes after 30 days. The top prize is $2,500, donated by a local hospital system. A blood or urine test will be given to determine the potential winner's nicotine levels, and a "credible character reference" will be asked to verify the smoke-free month. Anyone? Anyone? In addition to the near impossibility of guaranteeing a "credible character reference's" attestation, nicotine entirely passes through the body in a mere 72 hours. So it's really more a "Find Some Skanky Peep to Lie for You in Exchange for a Cut of the Prize Money and then Don't Smoke for Three Days" contest. Awesome, Indiana. I'm filing with the state to redeem my prize for the health-care related savings it has received during my TWENTY-SIX YEARS OF NOT SMOKING.