I think he's on his period.

When the DNB and I first started dating 10,000 years ago, I remember he'd always get nervous when I'd go to get my hair cut. "I just don't want it to be short," he'd say. A few years ago, I had grown my hair out quite a bit, but it wasn't working for me. "I'm getting a lot cut," I warned him, and he looked panicked. When I came home, he noted my shoulder-length hair and relaxed. "That's not short," he claimed.

Last night, after another trip to the salon, I decided to address his weird Short-Hair Thing and find out what, exactly, "short" meant to him. Shoulder length hair? Not short. Chin length hair? Short. Somewhere in between? On the border.

This is pretty much exactly what he told me:

Girls start talking to their friends. "I need a new style." Then one girl's all, "Ohmigod, I totally know what you should do. You should SHAVE YOUR HEAD." And then all the other girls are like, "That would be TOTALLY cute. You totally should shave your head." And so then she goes and effing SHAVES HER HEAD. And then she comes home and is like, "Do you like my hair?" And her husband goes, "Ummm, I thought ..." And then she's all, "You hate it? I can't believe you hate it. I DID IT FOR YOU, jackass!!"