Do Not Spam the DNB.

The DNB does not tolerate junk emails.

When he receives them as part of a store "loyalty" program sign-up, or because he neglected to check an opt-out box as he placed an online order, he unsubscribes as quickly as possible. But some stores are making it more and more difficult to remove yourself from their lists.

The DNB tried and tried to get off the Dick's Sporting Goods email list, but no amount of Unsubscribe link-clicking was working. Last night, furious, he gave it a final go.

The Unsubscribe link took him to a page that requested to know why he would ever want to remove himself. He tried several times to fill out and submit the "Other" section, indicating that he had never knowingly signed up for emails to begin with. Apparently, expletives won't get past the Dick's Unsubscribe Censors, which repeatedly disallowed his goshdarn submission.

Unconcerned by this development, my resourceful husband found another way to express himself:

"Remove me from your email list, you BIG GIANT DICK'S."