With Hope They Do Not Include Doorknob Gonorrhea

We discuss love!

"Do you love me unconditionally?" the DNB asks me.

"Ehh," I reply. "Define 'unconditionally'?"

"Like when I said in our wedding vows that there are no conditions on my love for you," he clarifies.

"Oh. I thought you were promising that you didn't have any conditions when we got married." I make a mental note to get a physical.

"Oh, I had a TON of conditions when we got married."