What's it like being a huge jerk?

I peer at the DNB's face.

"What's it like having hair around your mouth?" I ask.

"Oh, I don't know..." he pauses. "Why don't you tell me?"

I smile sweetly as he cracks himself up.

"I'm smiling," I say slowly, "Because I'm thinking of all the horrible things I'm going to do to you when you're sleeping tonight."