Wherein I lose all my plant-based followers.

"As not-compassionate as I usually am, I don't want to hurt people's feelings," I tell the DNB. I'm explaining why I always find it difficult to turn away all the pyramid sellers who come my way.

"I don't blame the people, but more the companies behind the products," the DNB replies. He's hardcore skeptical of all the "these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA" goods out there.

"Oh I just blame it on you," I confess. "Like oh my husband is concerned about FDA approval, blah blah blah. But then they just tell me everything is all-natural, so how could it be harmful?"

"UM, like cyanide?  Some of the most toxic substances we know of are natural!" the DNB shouts.

Yeah, buddy, I'm on your side. Take it down a notch.

"Plants make this horrible stuff because, I don't know, they DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN," he continues.

I nod. "Man, plants are bastards."

"They TOTALLY are."